Hand Small

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What say you to a poem of dreams?

"Chasing Dragons"

Make me
look away.

Nothing to offer,
secrecy, shadows...lies.
Masochist hands,
murderer's hands,
small, strong, tainted,
crimson gloves from shattered hearts.

Smoke writes Sorrow's song,
plummeting...
don't catch me,
lest I linger.
Love me not,

lest I hope.

Good effort here, though there are some problems that stand out

Your line breaks aren't working very well - you might want to take a look at them again. The first two lines, for example, would have much more impact as a single line - "Make me look away."

The imagery is vague, and the reader has difficulty following. "Smoke writes Sorrow's song" doesn't come across. And why is "Sorrow's" capitalized? There's opportunity here for more vivid imagery...

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